So here's today's top tip.
If you want to avoid masses of teenage girls paying homage to Robert and Taylor don't go to the cinema at the following times; Wednesday night, Friday night or any time Saturday or Sunday.
I got my fix of the latest in the Twilight saga at Rugby Cineworld on Wednesday afternoon. Me and just four others: Perfect.
A lass at work suggested men have to be gay to read Stephanie Meyer's books.
Well, I have and I'm not. Although I'm starting to wonder about recent reading selections, having seen the movie adaptations of chick lit One Day and The Help, which I have also digested, in hardback and celluloid.
Anyway, I was more than a little quizzical of how this latest Twilight would translate to the big screen.
To be honest, the others were pretty tame teenage tripe and the films followed suit.
Breaking Dawn, the book, has two major elements which are out of keeping with the rest: aggressive sex and bloody violence.
The movie needed, however, to preserve a 12A certificate.
And, I have to admit that director Bill Condon bridges the gap pretty successfully.
Of course, it doesn't get around the fact that Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart aren't exactly challenged on the acting front.
I take it back: Stewart does a fair job of the ecstasy of her wedding and honeymoon and the agony of a fast-paced pregnancy and a traumatic childbirth.
Pattinson smiles and grimaces and talks through his teeth while Lautner seems stuck in a permanent state of indignation.
For anyone who has been on holiday on Mars, I ought to say that this is the film in which human Bella Swan (Stewart) marries vampire Edward Cullen (Pattinson).
Such a union goes down badly with the local werewolves (keeping up?) one of which, Jacob, (Lautner) just happens to love Bella.
Gosh, it really doesn't bear a precis does it?
Anyway, Bella, rather ill-advisedly, has unprotected hanky panky with her new hubby and, as a consequence, a rather greedy fast-growing being grows inside her.
Bella's life is threatened and emotions run high.
Now here's a question for all you Twilight fans: how can a werewolf catch a vampire when the vampires seem to have the ability to move at the speed of light?
That is just one of the many many questions I have about these movies.
But, if I completely suspend reality, I can accept that this was better than the rest.
There was a deal of drama and Condon does a good job of eeking it out.
Thus, I'm giving Breaking Dawn, Part One 6/10.
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